this is really, really important:

from a very extensive description of ‘rape culture’:

Rape culture is the narrative that sex workers can’t be raped. Rape culture is the assertion that wives can’t be raped. Rape culture is the contention that only nice girls can be raped.

this right here is extremely important, and not often hit upon. that second sentence, nestled right in the middle. to really get how unsettling and horrifying that sentence is, let’s go further and bring it down to a more casual level: girlfriends. you know that age-old stereotype where the guy wants to get it on and his lady is all like “oh honey, not tonight”? yeah, that. why is this even a problem?

and wait, it gets better. if you decline sex multiple times in a row, well- get ready for emotional nuclear fallout. frequency of sex validates a relationship for many people. many guys these days see having a girlfriend as “sweet, constant sexing!” and that is really fucking scary!

honestly, many guys i’ve dated (especially in my younger years), have at some point, tried to initiate sex when i was CLEARLY not being responsive. the scariest part about this is that they usually will not stop… until you adamantly tell them to stop. (and effectively, become a moody bitch) — it’s also worth noting that this includes both aggressive AND non-aggressive personality types. this usually isn’t an angry or violent act, and that’s very important. it’s often sweet and loving, and that’s where it becomes emotional gray-area.

but i am talking about like: straight up grabbing at my body, sticking their hands under my clothes, pinching at me, rubbing me and actually trying to force a sexual response from my body. [and sometimes it gets suggested that your own body’s physical defense reactions are actually you being sexually aroused! omg, i can’t even get into this without wanting to puke]

i know this is a common thing that people experience every day. but if you really break it down, there are scary things happening. thoughts?

ladies- do you have similar experiences? does it bother you??