rescued from an epic thread

1. HOUSE: You have 2 cows. One’s sick, but its not lupus.
2. THE BORG COLLECTIVE: You have two cows. The Borg assimilate you and the cows. Milking becomes irrelevant.
3. SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
4. HEDONISM: You have 2 cows. Apologize for nothing.
5. CAPCOMISM: You have 2 cows. You press Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left Right, B, A, B, A, start. Now you have 100 Cows.
6. DRAGON BALL Z: You have two cows. You spend 20 episodes milking them.
7. MYSPACE: You have two cows. You spend hours taking extreme angled black&white photos of them and their utters.
8. PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
9. FANBOYISM: You have two cows. THEY ARE THE BEST COWS EVER, NO EXCEPTION.
10. KOREA: You have two zerglings. KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE
11. REALITY: You have two cows, but you don’t really know what to do next.
12. SOVIET RUSSIA: You have two cows. They milk you.
13. SKEPTICISM: Do you really have two cows?
14. 4CHANISM: you have 2 cows. your neighbor thinks it would be funny to repeat your example many times. he sets up 5000 cardboard cutouts of cows in his yard.
15. MCDONALD’S: You have two cows. You inject them with hormones, slaughter them, and sell their meat in cheap sandwiches packaged in with Disney toys.
16. LEGEND OF ZELDA: You have two cows. Your farm can’t turn a profit until you find the third one and collect all eight pieces hidden across the- wait, what the fuck?
17. CANNIBALISM: You are a cow. You eat the other cow.
18. KOREAN NATIONALISM: You get zerg rushed before you can build your first cow.
19. GOOGLISM: You have two cows. You index all your neighbours’ cows, then sell ad space on them. You get all the milk.